The Art of Large Purchases and Maintaining Peace in the Household

For many couples (about 45% per Fidelity!), finances are a major source of contention.  Big ticket purchases are often the top financial stressor. My wife and I recently went through the process of a large purchase, and I thought it would be great to share some survival tips that I’ve learned over years of being a husband and a financial planner. 

I have always been someone who takes pride in maintaining a nice yard and keeping my house in good order. About 4 years ago, we repainted our house and our garage doors. After a few hot summers, the paint on the garage doors started to peel. Frankly, it looks bad, and Kerry, who lives near me, frequently reminds me of it. To add insult to injury, Sheree accidentally shut the door on my car as I was backing out of the garage, denting a few of the panels. We finally ordered new garage doors, and they have been long overdue!

Set a Budget, Together

I believe the first step of a major purchase is agreeing on a budget. This should be a team effort! Agreeing on a budget beforehand can prevent many future disagreements. Discuss your financial situation openly and decide on a spending limit that both partners are comfortable with. This helps to set clear expectations and avoid any surprises. It’s a wonderful idea to include your KWB financial advisor in the conversation. As planners, we can help clients ensure their spending goal is realistic without impacting their long-term financial plan. A financial planner will also be able to help a client determine the best way to pay for a large purchase in the most tax-efficient manner. 

Spend the time, Do the research

My dad, a retired professor of marketing, taught that people make decisions with their emotions and justify with logic later. This tends to be a recipe for overpaying, likely creating strife with your spouse and regret. My wife often gets frustrated with me because I tend to spend too much time in this phase. To help with a decision, it’s important to narrow the playing field. In 2000, Iyengar & Lepper studied the abundance of choice. They found that offering people more options piqued interest but didn’t lead to purchases. They performed their study using gourmet jams. When 24 options were given to consumers, only 3% made a decision and purchased a flavor. Paralysis by over-analysis! With only 6 options presented, 30% of consumers purchased jam. 

I personally prefer to narrow my research to 3 choices, and then I dive deep. I read online articles, watch YouTube videos, and try to find products consistently mentioned as quality choices. I like to understand the materials, country of origin, warranty, and expected longevity of a product. In the case of garage doors, I called several installers and asked which doors they had on their house. As trends became clear, I revisited my budget to see which options were reasonable to pursue. Together, a budget and our research helped us narrow down our search to two manufacturers. 

Too Poor to Buy Cheap

Another of my dad’s famous sayings is, “We’re too poor to buy cheap.” I must admit, I didn’t fully appreciate that wisdom until I became a homeowner. It’s beautiful in its simplicity. Sheree and I tried to spend thrifty on stonework in our backyard. It was a large investment, and I’m disappointed in the outcome. We both regret prioritizing price over quality. We’ll likely have to redo the work in a few years, spending even more money than if we had done it right from the beginning. I did not want to make the same mistake twice with our garage doors, and I hope readers don’t have to experience similar regrets in the future. I decided to go with the more costly of the two manufacturers from our research. The warranty is better, the doors have more insulation, and are higher quality.

Get 3 Quotes

Once you know the product you want, if you’re going to hire someone else to help, it’s best to get multiple offers or bids. Again, I find that 3 well-researched choices are important. Ask for referrals from a friend, family member, or neighbor. I found that post-pandemic quotes varied significantly. There’s a high chance that you'll pay too much if you go with the first presented option. Multiple quotes give the consumer information and the ability to negotiate. 

100% | 100%

Couples will disagree, and this can often make progress on a major purchase difficult. For the garage door, Sheree and I were 100% aligned on the color of the doors. We only disagreed on the pattern of the panels and the windows – so, practically the whole door. During our recent KWB retreat, our coaches shared what I felt was a very profound thought about relationships. They said relationships aren’t 50/50, they’re 100% | 100%. I am present in my relationship, giving all that I can to my spouse, and vice versa. Neither of us is half-assing it, in other words. Compromise means that someone got 100% and the other got nothing.  For the garage doors, Sheree was lukewarm on the panel choice and convicted on the windows. We agreed to pick the panels I had more passion for and go with the windows that Sheree loved. With the concept of 100% | 100%, we are both happy that the person we love most in the world gets what they want. Every time I see our garage doors, I’ll look at the windows and be excited for Sheree and the choices we made together. 

Making large purchases can be daunting. Hopefully, some of the experiences I’ve shared will help lead you to wonderful outcomes and provide a decision-making framework that strengthens your bond with loved ones. Your team at KWB appreciates the opportunity to help. 

~ Mike Razzouk